Ill informed in Illminster

Just popped in to Illminster for lunch and for curiosity's sake. Desiring to purchase a postcard I followed the sign to the Tourist Information until I met another sign pointing back at the first. In between the two...? No tourist information.

The building adjacent to the brasserie at which we had chosen to dine proudly displayed a plaque on its wall.

But Queen Victoria did not become queen until 1837, surely? In fact, she was only just born in 1819 – she was a princess of seven months of age.

Never mind, let's go and have lunch.

So, what have we got on today's menu? Ah, pan-fried bream, that sounds delicious. Two pan-fried breams please miss.
Sorry, we are out of bream.
Oh, well we will have the steak then.
We don't have that either.
So, at 12 o'clock on the menu for today which advertises a choice of four main courses, you have already sold out of two of them and this, in an empty restaurant?

I have a feeling that language must work differently in Illminster.